Welcome to The Random Thoughts Insider

Thank you for considering becoming a Random Thoughts (RT) Insider. Look, I sacrifice a good 40-minutes a day to bring you my always-witty and universally insightful musings on the world of sports, the least you can do is cough up some cash. And let's not forget that's 40-minutes a day that can be better spent writing hate mail to LaTroy Hawkins or surfing the internet for naked pictures of Jessica Alba.

Here's the deal: for the low, low price of just 40 euros per month(we can't take American money...it's a long story), you can become an official RT Insider. Or take advantage of our special annual subscription rate of just 600 euros (ha, ha, sucker!).

Become an RT Insider and not only will you get Dan's daily musings on sports sprinkled with (at times ridiculous) pop culture references, and the Corey-o-Meter but you will also have one-of-a-kind access to the following special features;

* The Michael Vick Report: A daily, hour-by-hour account of the overrated quarterback's life. Did Michael eat pork chops or tacos on Monday? How long did he wait in line at the bank drive-up window? ESPN's Mike Patrick will let you know...

* A special on-line computer game for adults only called "Want Ketchup With That?" Tired of your kids' whining? Feed electronic versions of the little rug rats to Mike Tyson!

* A White Sox fans only message board. Whine about the Cubs. Talk about Jim Thome's effect on the team. Whine more about the Cubs. Discuss why Freddy Garcia gets so dang sweaty. Whine about the Cubs. Whine about the Cubs. Whine about the Cubs. And listen to other Sox fans...whine about the Cubs.

* Behind the Scenes Video of the New Reality Show Brett and John: Will John truly keep his promise to stop leaving his panties on the floor of the couple's bathroom now that Brett has agreed to return to the NFL.

Here is How It Works: Send your name, address, cell phone number, credit card information, shoe size, and the name of your favorite Beatle to dan@Icantbelieveyoufellforthis.com and we will start your subscription right away. I am pleased to announce that we are having a special free trial until the end of April. Simply send the information and, if you are not absolutley delighted with your RT Insider service, cancel before April 30 for a full refund. Of course, you will probably forget to cancel (that's why BMG Music Club sent you all those Dee-lite CDs...you forgot to send in the "send nothing at this time" card) and even if you do remember, we will likely continue charging you anyway. Hey, that's the breaks.

Finally, subscribe today and receive a free Fairleigh Dickinson Women's NCAA Bowling Championship Fan Pack. Complete with a free team highlight video, bowling glove autographed by star bowler Lisa Frisciono, and FDU visor**


**Disclaimer: Championship Fan Pack only available in Fergus County, Montana.